reading. riting. 'rithmetic.

Mar 6, 2008

i have a fabulous handbag, therefore i am

Over a recent game of Settles of Catan, Ben playfully, but earnestly, called me a yuppie. His prosecution relied on the dual facts that I shop at JCrew, Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters, and that I have a Macbook. In mock anguish I wailed that I was not a yuppie, and we both had a hearty laugh. Two days later I am still wailing in anguish, but now it is in earnest. I am terrified to realize that I am, truly, predisposed toward being a yuppie. If you are unfamiliar with the term "yuppie", this is an informative definition from UrbanDictionary.com. "Yuppie" Acronym for Young Urban Professional. Group whose culture blends the hippie/counterculture values of the 1960s and the materialistic monetary-based values of the 1980s. Usually congregate in Starbuck's, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and a wide variety of vintage clothing boutiques. Includes both moderate Liberals (majority of yuppies), and moderate Conservatives (smaller group of yuppies), although both the far left and the far right enjoy dissing them. Far left dude: I hate these yuppies! They claim to be "artists" and "bohemians", yet their materialistic pursuits embody the very antithesis of the counterculture, and price real "artists" like me out of the neighborhoods they move to! Far right dude: I hate these yuppies. I can't stand how they flaunt their metrosexuality with their designer labels, lattes, luxury cars, and globally conscious health food stores. It's European-wannabe wimps like them that corrupt America! Ben and I have somewhat less elaborate working definitions for "yuppie". Ben considers a yuppie to be a person whose purchasing decisions are based primarily on what other people think is interesting, a person who is always concerned about getting the "right" thing. I think of yuppies as people whose lives are defined by material consumption, and who are far-removed from the workings of the natural world. If you are still having trouble defining "yuppie" in your mind, we discovered a good litmus test last night. Think of something that at one time was considered "indie" and edgy, and now has become the stuff of mass consumption. There is a good chance that whatever you thought of is part of the yuppie lifestyle. Some of our findings include: -Organic food shops, esp. Trader Joe's and Whole Foods -The music of Death Cab for Cutie -Anything made by Macintosh -Hybrid cars I take a small bit of solace that at least I fall into the relatively new category of "Green Yuppie". That is a person who alters aspects of their life to be more environmentally sensitive, such as driving a used Volvo instead of a new Suburban, using canvas bags for groceries instead of plastic, or even going as far as to erect a windmill or solar panels around their home to reduce energy use. Unfortunately, these efforts still tend to be influenced heavily by posturing and can involve very little real sacrifice on the yuppie's part. It is easy to save the earth if all that involves is driving a more hip car and buying interesting food at expensive stores. And I buy it. In my heart I buy it all. The positive spiritual and material influences of my university experience kept some of the emptiest desires at bay, but now free from the example of my non-yuppie friends, my covetousness and vanity is running wild. I dream of owning a pair of olive green patent leather Prada wedges to go with my tasteful vintage pea coat, both which will draw admiring stares as I balance my organic soy sugar-free vanilla latte, extra hot, on top of the interesting book I hold nonchalantly (A Clockwork Orange, perhaps?). I want a $1,100 Shaw fireclay sink to go in my carefully manicured kitchen, and I want my husband to wear trendy square-framed glasses. That life will look so great paired with my reputable law degree. And it is all so empty. Richard Foster's classic book "The Freedom of Simplicity" stares at me unread from the bookshelf as I surf the latest additions to my favorite home wares blog. I see the lives of people I respect, more often than not, exemplified by generousness to the point of want, and a struggle to not accumulate possessions. With one hand I write that I want to live a life like that, and with the other I give over my credit card for a pretty new thing. I wonder if there is some sort of cosmic limit on hypocrisy that will one day find me overdrawn and strike me down? In desperation I looked to my sister, the other person who knows me best, to refute Ben's assertion that I am fated to a yuppie life of yuppie wants and yuppie waste. She didn't hesitate a second to agree with him. But she also said that there was one thing about me that isn't yuppie, and that is my childhood as a rancher's daughter. A working cattle ranch is not yuppie. At that, I remembered back to my morning at work when I had heard an unfamiliar song on the radio, and had crouched close to the speaker until it was over, because I thought it just might be Garth Brooks. I don't want to desire objects and plaudits, but I do, and probably the craving for the Prada pumps will always be a part of my struggle. For now I rest in the knowledge that I am not, and never will be, 100% yuppie. The song was by Garth Brooks, and I loved it. -a

6 Comments:

Blogger Hannah said...

Oh, Sumps.

1) Asthma isn't yuppie
2) Soft chins aren't yuppie
3) www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com is yuppie (Oh they did NOT just go after Flight of the Conchords, #77)
4) Actually living in Europe isn't yuppie, but it sort of is since you wanted to invite David Sedaris to your wedding
5) Being friends with Pat isn't yuppie
6) Not wanting either a lab or a retriever or a Rhodesian Ridgeback isn't yuppie
7) Knowing Teitur's email address isn't yuppie
Yes it is
8) Being the National FFA prepared speaking champion, 2003, isn't yuppie
9) Not wanting to move to the Front Range isn't yuppie

Be of good cheer.

3/7/08, 2:41 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, a whole new side to the term "yuppie" that I never knew! And to think that it wasn't too long ago that I laughingly referred to Ryan and I as yuppies, thinking it meant we were of the age where we have money and no kids and can go out to eat often and live somewhat glamorously (well, as much as possible for North Dakota). I didn't realize it was such a scandalous, detestable label until today.

My thoughts:
1. Embrace that you like what you like. If you like and get fashion, then go for it (within reason of course). If you like country music, admit it (most certainly within reason). This is what gives people the cool factor--confidence in what they like, whether it's cool or not.

2. Don't temper yourself from trying something you may like just because you feel like you might appear to be trying too hard or--heaven forbid--that you may look like a yuppie. By this, I mean go to an opera and buy marscapone cheese and don't feel guilty about it. Perhaps the much hyped book is actually a good read. You have the freedom as a young urban professional (note: not yuppie) to discover and develop your tastes and see what the world has to offer. The good news is, that freedom doesn't go away, but as our responsibilities amass, we may not utilize it--or even notice it--if we have not cultivated the habit of utilizing it.

Finally, after you have tried something, be confident to admit that you don't like it. Embrace that you don't like what you don't like. Edgy for the sake of edgy without the love of the experience isn't cool. For example, why drink soymilk because it's (cool, healthy, new, different) when in reality, you think it tastes chalky?

Abby, you are cool, and you certainly don't need to read Clockwork Orange to prove it. And I don't think you do such things to prove your coolness either, so give yourself some credit. You're trying new things and thinking and analyzing and making good decisions. And you have great taste--embrace it!

A beautifully written piece, by the way.

3/7/08, 5:37 AM

 
Blogger Jennifer said...

Yuppie always feels so Seattle to me, especially Bell-town. Because of this I still oddly associate Shepherd's Pie with yuppies because I first tasted that delightful dish at a restaurant in Bell-town. Aforementioned restaurant also faced one of the first condominium/shopping center/roof top garden structures in Seattle back in the 90s, so maybe this added to the yuppie taste left in my mouth. The older I get I realize how strange this comparison is because really, no self-respecting yuppie would ever touch something as down-home as Shepherd's Pie.
I hope you're reading Clockwork Orange, I just put the movie on my Netflix list to see what all the JBU hysteria is about, though I see myself siding with Pollard once all is viewed.

3/7/08, 5:42 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, so many thoughtful comments to this thoughtful post. But since I like to write and my grading is caught up, I'll add mine.

1. Good taste and a love of beautiful things doesn't make you a yuppy.

2.Trendiness would be something I definitely parlay into yuppie-ness, but Anduin's right. Sometimes something much hyped is good, and sometimes it's total crap. See a lot of the bestseller list for anything.

3.If I like to hit up Whole Foods every Sunday to nosh on free sample chips and pico, am I yuppie? This is an existential question. Whole Foods doesn't make you a yuppie, neither do soy lattes. Perhaps it just means you like to take care of your temple.

4. The very fact that you consider and fear yuppie-hood, and have Richard Foster's book will save you from dread yuppie-ness. A yuppie would not consider that.

5. Granted, my definition of yuppie-ness is based solely on repeated watchings of American Psycho, the quintessential yuppie flick (and a cousin of A Clockwork Orange), and trust me, Patrick Bates never considers he might be a yuppie, he just buys more stuff.

6. Hannah's right. No one from Wyoming can ever truly be a yuppie. At one point we knew every Garth Brooks song, and some might have loaded them onto iPods.

7. You may be the most stylish person I know, Abby, but you'd have to perform a 180 degree change to be a yuppie.

8. I may live on the front range, but I believe I'm not a yuppie, as I don't have a puppy. (I'd just been dying to rhyme yuppie and puppy.)

Well, this has been fun. An examination of yuppies. Much love to my Faroese non-yuppy friends.

3/7/08, 2:33 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

" And to think that it wasn't too long ago that I laughingly referred to Ryan and I as yuppies, thinking it meant we were of the age where we have money and no kids and can go out to eat often and live somewhat glamorously (well, as much as possible for North Dakota). "

Nah, that just makes you guys DINKs (Double Income No Kids). :)

3/7/08, 2:41 PM

 
Blogger Jennifer Miller said...

I never considered "yuppie" bad... I always thought of it as (originally, as it's spread across country since) certain pacific coasters that were very green conscious, hugged lots of trees, drank lots of lattes (sorry), read lots of books, were into organic everything and shopped at expensive grocery stores (as much as I like Whole Foods, it can't beat my King Soopers), and wore eclectic outfits and accessories.

Okay so somehow I made that sound bad...but it isn't! I really admire who you are and have become knowing your background. How you dress and accessorize is something I'm JEALOUS of...'cause I LOVE that style...I just fail at it - hah! And I also love the style for living. So you keep being who you are, 'cause apparently we all love it :)

3/8/08, 2:50 AM

 

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